How do you make a bone idle year group pass their GCSEs?

If that was actually a riddle it might be funny. In actual fact it’s looking like a mammoth task. My classroom now looks like a scene from feeding the 5,000, and unless we start sitting on each other’s knees I don’t think we can cram anyone else in there. I’ve already got someone at my desk (and on my newly donated swivel chair!).

To digress, that chair is the most fun thing I’ve ever had in my room. It far surpasses my interactive whiteboard. There’s something hysterical about freewheeling over from the network terminal where I do the register over to the laptop to bring up the lesson objectives. One of these days I’ll probably go flying over a cable, but you’ve got to live a little some time.

We’ve retitled the revision classes to make them sound less boring. We’ve got booster sessions coming out of our ears. We’re shamelessly bribing them with tea, coffee and chocolate (they can have the migrane after the lesson!), it’s all singing, all dancing, more marking than I can eat in a month of Sundays, and I’m knackered.

And do they appreciate it?

Pah!